Try to Find the Light with Amanda Kloots

Name: Try to Find the Light with Amanda Kloots
Uploaded: 2026-08-17T12:37:09-07:00
Duration: 59 min 14 s
Channel: MeSsy with Christina Applegate \u0026 Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Description: Amanda Clutes discusses her journey from a happy childhood in Ohio to becoming a public figure navigating profound grief after the loss of her husband…

MeSsy with Christina Applegate \u0026 Jamie-Lynn Sigler

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About this episode Amanda Clutes discusses her journey from a happy childhood in Ohio to becoming a public figure navigating prof… AI summary

Amanda Clutes discusses her journey from a happy childhood in Ohio to becoming a public figure navigating profound grief after the loss of her husband Nick Cordero in 2020. She shares how she transformed personal tragedy into a mission of service, emphasizing the importance of community, redefining strength as vulnerability, and finding joy and purpose through writing and parenting her son, Elvis.

Key takeaways 6

Grief is a lifelong companion that can become 'quieter but not smaller'; Amanda reframes grief as a 'best friend' that helps her understand love and sadness, rather than something to be 'fixed' or moved past.
The concept of 'staying green' or maintaining beginner's mind is crucial for success; Amanda notes she succeeds when she doesn't overthink or let self-doubt ('getting in my own way') paralyze her, citing a billboard that says 'Make it anyway.'
There is a double standard in societal judgment of widows versus widowers; widows are often judged for showing joy or dating again, while widowers are praised for the same behaviors.
Strength is often misinterpreted as stoicism; true strength involves vocalizing pain, crying, and admitting heaviness, rather than just enduring silently.
Writing is a powerful tool for processing trauma; Amanda discovered she was a writer only after Nick's death, describing the process as channeling and highly cathartic.
Community and love are essential during adversity; Amanda learned the value of community only after going through isolation, noting that opening up allows love to enter and heal.

Notable quotes 5 AI-generated: wording and quote attribution may be wrong. Use the play link to verify.

“Grief can get quieter, but it's not necessarily smaller.”

▶ 22:33 Amanda explains that grief evolves and becomes a constant presence ('best friend') rather than disappearing over time.
“Strength isn't measured by how gracefully you carry what's heavy. Sometimes it's measured by finally admitting it's heavy at all.”

▶ 58:24 The closing quote of the episode, reinforcing the theme that vulnerability is a form of strength.
“I don't see strong as a bad thing... I think strength comes from weakness. And when you go through grief, it strips you down to your weakest absolutely lowest level. And so there is no other way to do anything other than build yourself up.”

▶ 27:24 Amanda's perspective on why she doesn't mind being called 'strong,' contrasting it with how it can feel like a trigger for others.
“You don't have to have the right words... It's like you can't really say anything. I think the best lesson I've learned is just to show up.”

▶ 30:18 Advice on how to support grieving friends, emphasizing presence over perfect phrasing.
“We don't have to let our people go. They are here. They can still be around. I think the biggest mistake we say is, 'Oh, they're buried, so I have to bury them, too.'”

▶ 52:27 Amanda shares her spiritual connection with her late husband, Nick.