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Chapters & Sections (81)
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00:00
Fear of Judgment and Financial Concerns
01:05
Impact on Self-Esteem and Audience Perception
01:36
Father’s Illness and Early Sobriety Milestones
02:07
Motorcycle Accident, Pain Management, and Hospital Visits
03:40
Father’s Final Days and Emotional Support System
04:10
Relapse Incident During Hospital Visit
05:16
Medication Misuse and Panic About Relapse
06:19
Support from Friends and AA Community
07:24
Acknowledgment of Relapse and Emotional Release
08:24
Understanding Powerlessness and Unmanageability in Recovery
08:55
Pain Medication Use After Surgery
09:27
Cycle of Taking and Avoiding Pain Pills
10:00
Increasing Dosage and Prescription Management
10:32
Prescription Overuse and Self‑Prescribing
11:04
Daily Routine and Family Responsibilities
11:39
Creating a Tapering Schedule
12:10
Fear of Withdrawal and Loneliness
12:42
Gaslighting and Emotional Strain in Relationships
13:13
Confession to Partner and Seeking Help
13:46
Fear of Relapse and Public Scrutiny
14:17
Planning to Attend AA Meetings
15:20
Confronting Humility with a Mentor
17:56
Physical Withdrawal Symptoms and Fear of Death
19:00
Belief that Love is Conditional on Sobriety
19:30
Fear of Returning to Substance Use
20:02
First Time in a Long Period of Sobriety
20:34
Experience of Unconditional Love at AA Meeting
21:07
Hopeful Outlook After the Meeting
21:38
Acknowledgment of Shared Human Vulnerability
22:08
Recognition of Past Gaslighting and Its Impact
23:35
Gratitude for Sobriety and Journaling Habit
23:57
Re‑establishing Honest Journaling Practices
24:18
Celebrating 16 Years of Sobriety and Ongoing Struggles
25:20
Desire for Greater Transparency with Loved Ones
26:23
Increased Connection Through Program Conversations
27:25
Struggle with Honesty About Current Challenges
28:29
Acknowledgment of Disease and Need for Support
28:59
Administering Pills During Conversation
29:29
Internal Countdown and Body Experience
30:01
Subconscious Control Over Medication Timing
30:31
Emotional Impact of Lack of Control
31:03
Hyper Awareness After First Administration Experience
31:33
Loneliness and Need for Help
32:05
Recognizing Addiction as a Disease
32:39
Desire to Control Mood and Its Consequences
33:10
Control Over Medication Timing and Mood
33:40
Survivalist Metaphor for Addiction
35:13
Justifying Decisions and Mental Fatigue
36:16
Navigating Support and Apology
37:51
Quarantine Stress and Family Health Concerns
38:21
Seizure Anxiety and Medication Mismanagement
38:52
Group Text Confusion Over Missing Pills
39:24
Attempt to Delete Medication Records
39:57
Admitting the Missing Pills and Seeking Help
41:00
Feeling Overwhelmed by Responsibility
41:53
Confession of Medication Misuse and Lies
42:35
Exploring Tolerance and Ethical Dilemmas
43:07
Considering Alternative Medications for Control
44:11
Expressing Regret and Gratitude for Support
44:41
Contemplating Public Disclosure of Relapse
45:42
Addressing Audience Expectations and Personal Responsibility
46:44
Closing Remarks on Honesty and Support
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