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Chapters & Sections (177)
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3:39
Feeling like an outsider and struggling to fit in
4:10
Early substance use and experimentation
4:44
Parenting and family relationships
6:47
Addiction and feelings of calm
7:18
Self-Medicating and Anxiety
7:48
High School Substance Use and Hiding Issues
8:19
College and Peer Influence
9:22
Experimenting with Oxy Cotton
10:57
Initial Experience with OxyContin
11:29
Sharing Experiences and Realization of Dependence
12:00
Workplace and Social Impact
13:33
Confrontation with Father's Concerns
14:35
Codefendant's Job Offer and Gas Card Opportunity
15:36
Gas Card Sales Pitch and Initial Success
16:08
Scaling the Gas Card Scam on Lunch Breaks
17:09
Oxycotton and Gas Card Sales on Weekends
18:10
Pricing and Tolerance Issues
18:41
Convincing the Gas Station Attendant
19:45
Using a Stolen Card and Avoiding Detection
20:48
Generosity with Stolen Money
21:51
Meeting the Detective and Gas Station Incident
22:23
Description of the Detective's Actions
22:53
Presentation of Evidence and Felony Charges
23:56
Discussion of Identity Theft and FBI Involvement
24:57
Aftermath and Detox
25:27
Meeting with Federal Probation Officer and Instructions
26:28
Discussion of Investigation and Pre-Trial Status
26:58
Failed UA Test and Probationary Concerns
29:01
Trying to get clean and show the judge effort
29:32
Consequences of fraudulent charges
30:03
Family reaction and support
31:41
Struggling with addiction and switching to heroin
32:43
Criminal Point System and Its Consequences
33:16
Impact of Prior Arrests on Sentencing
34:52
Addiction and Risk-Taking Behavior
35:56
Physical Discomfort and Sleep Disturbances
36:59
Probation and Court Dates
37:32
Arraignment and Sentencing
38:03
Codefendant's Sentence and Plea
39:07
Remorse and Addiction Issues
39:38
Discussion of Probation Recommendation and Sentencing
40:41
Personal Experience with Sentencing and Detox
41:12
Reflection on Incarceration and Withdrawals
43:18
Arrival at FCC, Description of Living Conditions and People
43:57
Description of Prison Wings and Conditions
44:23
Adjusting to Life in Prison, Playing Games with Inmates
45:58
Roll Call and Transfer to Booking
46:29
Meeting FBI Agents, Transportation to Federal Facility
51:09
Receiving Support and Unexpected Kindness
51:40
Meeting a Fellow Inmate and Sharing Resources
52:10
Warning about Accepting Gifts from Others
52:41
Sharing a Story about Prison Life and Rules
53:11
Discussing Predator Behavior in the Medium
54:15
Experiencing a Harrowing Flight
54:46
Unpleasant Air Travel Incident
55:16
Fear of Flying and Safety Concerns
55:47
Imagining a Plane Disaster
56:49
Prison Life and Food
57:52
Unpleasant Experience at Prison Transport
58:25
Repeating Pattern of Transportation Issues
58:57
Inadequate Food and Restraints
59:28
Arrival in Vegas and Confusion
59:59
Moving to a New Facility
1:01:34
Private Prisons and Initial Classification
1:02:07
Clothing and Inspection
1:02:38
Prison Life and Living Conditions
1:03:09
Interactions with Other Inmates
1:05:18
Racial Tensions and Conversations in Prison
1:06:19
Personal Experiences with Racial Issues in Prison
1:07:22
Peanut Butter Incident and Confrontation
1:08:26
Reflections on Prison Life and Size Comparison
1:08:57
Arrival and Initial Experience at Parump
1:10:00
Daily Life in Sheridan FCI
1:12:06
Classification and Lockdowns in Sheridan FCI
1:13:09
Dispute with Warden over Hood
1:14:11
Warden's Demand and Insubordination
1:15:45
Life in the Hole, Showering, and Caffeine Withdrawal
1:16:48
Considering an Audio Autobiography or Memoir
1:17:20
Life in Solitary Confinement and Radio
1:17:52
Finding Comfort in Human Interaction
1:18:22
Interactions with Other Inmates
1:20:29
Arrival and Initial Impressions
1:21:01
Conflict with Another Inmate
1:21:31
Advice and Warning from an Inmate
1:22:05
Preparation for Release
1:22:35
Receiving Clothing and Money
1:23:39
Discussion of Release and Support
1:24:10
Departure from the Facility
1:24:41
Arrival and Initial Struggles at Prison
1:25:12
First Day After Release and Reflections
1:26:43
Adjusting to Life Outside Prison
1:27:48
Federal Probation and Challenges
1:28:18
Initial Struggle with Addiction and Relapse
1:29:23
Turning Life Around and Feeling Unfulfilled
1:30:26
Finding Heroin and Mixing with Meth
1:32:01
Losing Everything Due to Addiction
1:33:04
Transporting and Storing Illegal Substances
1:33:36
Dealing with Law Enforcement and Legal Consequences
1:35:11
Pleading Out to Theft Charges and Sentencing
1:35:42
Life in Prison, Including Rules and Conflicts
1:37:14
Adjusting to Prison Life and Routine
1:37:48
Prison Cell Description and Observations
1:38:19
TV, Locks, and Prison Life
1:38:50
Heat and Cold Experiences
1:39:51
Prison Work and Gym Experience
1:41:23
Meeting Murderers and Low Recidivism Rates
1:42:26
Booking and Halfway House Experience
1:43:58
Feeling Defeated and Lack of Confidence
1:45:36
The Difficulty of Understanding Addiction
1:46:06
Addictive Behavior and Urges
1:47:09
Consequences of Failing a UA Test
1:48:45
Avoiding Punishment and Processing
1:49:20
Arrival in Fairbanks and Initial Struggles
1:50:23
Finding Temporary Shelter and Support
1:50:56
Realizing the Impact of Drug Use on Life
1:51:28
Challenges with Probation and Rebuilding Life
1:54:03
Feeling Resistant to Help and Committed to Self-Destruction
1:54:34
Reflecting on Past Experiences and Feeling Stuck
1:55:36
Meeting a Native American Man Who Offers Guidance and Support
1:56:07
Seeking Help and Willingness to Change
1:57:10
Discussing Plans for the Future and Seeking Support
1:58:12
Desire to get and stay clean, seeking support network
1:59:17
Comparing oneself to others and feeling behind
1:59:49
Building trust with parents, self-reflection, and acceptance
2:00:19
Long-term sobriety and desire to travel
2:02:27
Insurance and Food Stamps for Support
2:02:57
Career Goals and Lived Experience
2:03:29
Current Job and Frustration
2:04:30
Uncertainty about Future Plans
2:05:00
Desire to be a Drug Treatment Specialist
2:06:04
Overcoming addiction and personal struggles
2:07:42
Desire to leave past behind and move forward
2:08:45
Considering a new location for personal growth
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