Book Club: Forty Love by Jane Costello | Wife of the Party | #447

Name: Book Club: Forty Love by Jane Costello | Wife of the Party | #447
Uploaded: 2026-09-03T20:37:42-07:00
Duration: 59 min 13 s
Channel: Wife of the Party Podcast
Description: This episode features a book club discussion of '40 Love' by Jane Costello, which resonates with hosts Kathy Franken and Speaker 2 due to its portrayal…

Wife of the Party Podcast

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About this episode This episode features a book club discussion of '40 Love' by Jane Costello, which resonates with hosts Kathy F… AI summary

This episode features a book club discussion of '40 Love' by Jane Costello, which resonates with hosts Kathy Franken and Speaker 2 due to its portrayal of empty nesting, mid-life romance, and career shifts. The conversation expands into personal reflections on the emotional challenges of children leaving for college, the importance of maintaining hobbies for identity, and the desire for walkable, community-focused living environments. Additionally, Kathy shares her professional success in securing a Newsweek publication after an initial rejection.

Key takeaways 4

The book '40 Love' by Jane Costello serves as a relatable 'soft launch' for empty nesters, addressing identity shifts and career crossroads without being overly heavy.
Kathy Franken successfully pivoted from a rejected Huffington Post pitch to a Newsweek publication by re-submitting the piece immediately after the initial rejection.
The concept of 'beta testing' the empty nest phase (having no kids home for short periods) helps normalize the transition and reduces anxiety about the permanent departure of children.
Hobbies are critical for identity maintenance post-parenting; relying on a single hobby is risky as it can be lost to injury or changing circumstances, so multiple interests are advised.

Notable quotes 3 AI-generated: wording and quote attribution may be wrong. Use the play link to verify.

“"It's not an emotional affair is when you're like in a relationship. Yeah. You're in a relationship. It's reciprocal. Yeah. It's reciprocal. It's not. Everybody has crushes. My This is a a an an adaptive coping mechanism, not maladaptive."”

▶ 6:08 Kathy defending her article about having a crush on a doctor against negative comments, framing it as a healthy coping mechanism.
“"We're in this weird place um where we don't want to move. We don't need to move... But I think that in the book it's a very different situation than what we were talking about because she the difference was between whatever town she was in versus 2 hours and 20 minutes away in London and it was her livelihood right like if she didn't move she didn't have her career or her job anymore so that's a little bit different than us leisurely thinking oh we could just move whenever so it's a little bit different"”

▶ 37:59 Speaker 2 clarifying the difference between the book's high-stakes career move and their own hypothetical relocation discussions.
“"I think hobbies are really really important. I've been trying to get my anxiety riddled husband to come up with a hobby... I think we are focused on our kids in a beautiful way that's and I don't mean it in an unhealthy way, but what but anytime you focus on something and that something disappears, you have this big open hole of of no focus. So having that focus shift to somewhere I don't know what my hobby is."”

▶ 33:44 Discussion on the necessity of having hobbies outside of parenting to fill the void left when children leave home.